Thanks For The Genes

My genes are probably the reason that my jeans are on the tight side.  I might be wrong about this.  It might be the cheese, but I’m sticking to my theory. Genetic testing is all the rage these days. It seems everyone wants to know where their ancestors come from, …

The Dog Ate My Glasses

I discovered I might be wearing the wrong reading glasses.  I might have been wearing the wrong prescription for more than a decade.  I’ve been using glasses that are designed for reading a book. I have long since stopped reading books. I read my computer screen. Wearing the wrong prescription …

What Not To Buy For Christmas

Everyone has a drawer of dud gifts for recycling. Don’t they? In my drawer are quite a few crystal angels with the power to heal – allegedly.  These were given by people who like to knit their own mung beans.  There is a selection of magnifying glasses I don’t know …

Cinque Terra

Weirdly, I quite like walking uphill. There is no denying that age, expanding girth and lack of fitness make this more of a challenge than for the younger, thinner and fitter, but as my friend, The Big Cheese, would say, "none of us are getting any younger or any thinner". …

Out To Dinner

My hosts were in their usual good form. The food was excellent. The wine was flowing and the slow gin homemade. The conversation was about the local fishmonger and the aspirations of young adult children, holidays taken and the long

What’s Up with You?

I was in a pizza restaurant dithering over what to chose. “My God,” said my newest colleague. “Your eye sight is terrible. You should go to Pakistan and get that fixed. My wife had terrible sight. Not that bad, but she really did have trouble.

Locked Out

There are lots of apples falling off the tree in next doors garden. There is an abundance of windfalls, in my garden, that the local wildlife like to avail themselves of. In my efforts to deter the marauding intruders with fur, tails and long yellow teeth, I have just been …

Pride Before A Fall

I set off from Clapham to catch the train to Lancaster where my friend, the Author, would meet me. She would then drive to her house in Clapham. That’s Clapham Yorkshire, from where we would stride out for some good bracing walks,

Too Blind To Tango

An old family friend left a message on my answer machine that went something along the lines of; " I've been to look at your old school…it really is a super retirement complex now … they have everything there…you wouldn't have to worry about not being able to see….they'll look …

The Only Way Is Essex

Sometimes I feel like a dysfunctional travel correspondent. My tales always seem to involve the extraordinary. I've been abandoned on aeroplanes, been refused assistance at train stations and once threatened with arrest for trying to buy a ticket at journeys end because I couldn't operate the ticket machine at the …