A Useless Eater?

What do you call a boat full of lawyers at the bottom of the sea? So the joke goes, “a good start”. At this point we are all supposed to laugh heartily and heave in our breath at a shared understanding of the bad old lawyer. Struggling to heave in …

My Blind Corona Shop

No one’s going to be leaning over the pub bar any time soon and ordering a pint of Corona. Time, it seems, has been called on all our social lives for the foreseeable future. The help lines have stopped answering. Even Wayne in Mumbai, who regularly calls, offering to fix …

Twenty Questions

A good part of my life is spent on matters to do with #Fund Raising. It’s a tough old game so I’m sympathetic to anyone faced with the challenge and especially if it’s something I’d like to support. I confess I’m not a fan of the fund raising event. I …

Knocking On Doors

The drama of elections is not all it’s cracked up to be. It’s largely tedium and data entry. I’m sure about this. I’ve been out canvassing over two elections. I’m even in a WhatsApp group of canvassers. I can’t claim a high level of commitment. It’s all proving a bit …

How To Catch A TAxi

Coming out on to the street, the heat hit me.  A day of brainstorming had taken its toll. No matter how good the air conditioning and how sweet the cake, there is nothing like a good blast of hot air after a long day of trying not to disgrace yourself, …

Thanks For The Genes

My genes are probably the reason that my jeans are on the tight side.  I might be wrong about this.  It might be the cheese, but I’m sticking to my theory. Genetic testing is all the rage these days. It seems everyone wants to know where their ancestors come from, …

The Roar of the Crowd

I had a funny turn last week. I don’t know what came over me. Well, I do. I got cross and there is no point in getting cross unless there is something you can do about it. I agreed to do something that I could never imagine doing before the …

Spontaneous Combustion

A conversation about unemployment rates amongst disabled people of working age reminded me, not only how lucky I have been, but of the sheer lunacy of prejudice. If it weren't quite so serious it would be funny. My teenage ambition was to be a criminal defence barrister. I was not …

What’s Up with You?

I was in a pizza restaurant dithering over what to chose. “My God,” said my newest colleague. “Your eye sight is terrible. You should go to Pakistan and get that fixed. My wife had terrible sight. Not that bad, but she really did have trouble.

A Fugitive From Justice

Being a fugitive from justice is a stressful experience. I know, because I experienced this. I experienced it briefly, just for a nano-second, in the REM dream state that most of us experience just before we wake up. My crime? I was caught on camera driving