Beans For Tea

The most I have ever grown is a single radish sometime in the seventies.  My Dad used to give me runner bean and the odd courgette plant. Sometimes they thrived and sometimes they died. More accurately, I killed them. I’m feeling pretty smug as I’ve grown much of my lawn …

How To Catch A TAxi

Coming out on to the street, the heat hit me.  A day of brainstorming had taken its toll. No matter how good the air conditioning and how sweet the cake, there is nothing like a good blast of hot air after a long day of trying not to disgrace yourself, …

Women Need Sheds

My garden shed has been gently dissolving into the ground for some time now. In every cost there is an opportunity. Having sat down with the Right Hand Neighbour to consider our shed options, I settled on a modest affair just right to stuff old ironing boards in. Yvonne (not …

The Dog Ate My Glasses

I discovered I might be wearing the wrong reading glasses.  I might have been wearing the wrong prescription for more than a decade.  I’ve been using glasses that are designed for reading a book. I have long since stopped reading books. I read my computer screen. Wearing the wrong prescription …

The Blind Assassin

My neighbour was kind enough to drive me to #Heathrow terminal five. It rose out of the Hounslow ground like the architectural jewel of an emerging state, and proved equally hard to navigate our way into. Once there, it gleamed even brighter than the orange façade of #Luton airport departure …

Talons, Claws, Scales and Nails

The God Daughter, has the most phenomenal finger nails I have ever seen. They are long and polished and sometimes bejewelled. I wonder how it is possible to be a working Mother with these finger nails. The God Daughter is a tour de force and has probably taught her children …

It’s Behind You

I have an inherent fear of snakes. Even the most innocuous of grass snakes assumes the status of an anaconda in my imagination. As a child, I sought out the privacy of a large bush, only to discover that I had picked the very spot favoured by adders. I don’t …

Cinque Terra

Weirdly, I quite like walking uphill. There is no denying that age, expanding girth and lack of fitness make this more of a challenge than for the younger, thinner and fitter, but as my friend, The Big Cheese, would say, "none of us are getting any younger or any thinner". …

Pride Before A Fall

I set off from Clapham to catch the train to Lancaster where my friend, the Author, would meet me. She would then drive to her house in Clapham. That’s Clapham Yorkshire, from where we would stride out for some good bracing walks,

Too Blind To Tango

An old family friend left a message on my answer machine that went something along the lines of; " I've been to look at your old school…it really is a super retirement complex now … they have everything there…you wouldn't have to worry about not being able to see….they'll look …