The blonde bob, has long since departed. Jackie, “hairdresser to the stars and your humble servant”, cut it short in an Audrey Hepburn homage. She is deluded.

My friend Ranni, bought me three meters of navy blue lining cotton which I wound into a turban and practiced wearing about the house. There is a You Tube video for everything and when it comes to head coverings, I’ve done my fair share. I’ve covered a lot of ground from ultra conservative religious practices to cultural heritage and a modern twist on just about everything in between. I might be more Enna Sharples, in the resulting headgear, than “Queen” but I feel alright with that.

I had a funeral to go to, so I practiced wearing my turban around the house. I jumped about a bit, shook my head a bit, read, cooked and even managed a walk in it. It stayed on and not a safety pin in sight. Then I sent a photo of myself in my turban, to those who know more about these things than me, and got the thumbs up. Thank goodness for girlfriends. Thank goodness for boyfriends. Big BUT here, because when it comes to matters like this, it’s your girlfriends that count.

My girlfriends have all risen to the challenge and have provided me with a trip to a scarf emporium, where I left my dark glasses on a shelf long enough to go to eat lunch in a real restaurant, and try on clothes somewhere down an escalator and round a corner, before noticing that I was no longer in possession of said dark glasses. When I retraced my steps, there they were, two hours later, just where I had left them. This says something about the honesty of shoppers or the desirability of my glasses. My friend did proffer an opinion but I’m not convinced.

Now all of this has raised a question. Even if you are wearing the most rudimentary of scarves you have to account for the slide factor. What do you do with your dark glasses if you are wearing a head covering and your normal practice is to pop your dark glasses on your head? How can your headgear accommodate your glasses?

You have to opt for a head covering that offers up somewhere to tuck the arms of your glasses. I’ve gone for twist and tuck. I find it’s perfectly possible to accommodate both readers and tints, at the same time, should I want to. The downside of this new way of doing things is that I can’t feel I have my glasses on my head and I’m a bit prone to accidentally launching my specs, off my head, without clocking where they have landed. It’s what you might call the crunch moment. The crunch comes once you have started to look for them.

No one told me that losing my hair would feel like the discomfort of brushing your hair the wrong way. It hurts. Jackie returned with her scissors and cut what was left in an evenen close crop. They say you should “brave the shave” but I haven’t. My humble servant popped round again and did her best work. I have a sort of cropped mullet. She refuses to put a razor to my scalp.

The way I like to think of it, is that it provides a little grip to whatever I chose to wrap around my head and that keeps my specs safe. It’s a bit like the old poem; “I eat my peas with honey. I’ve done it all my life. It makes the peas taste funny but it keeps them on the knife.